GRAM

prized possession : his addictions

 

Now twenty-five, Graham has been homeless after walking to Denver from Colorado Springs on a four day endeavor. “I was living in the corporate world. Then I lost my mind. I had a breakup and went nuts. I didn’t come back from it,” he openly recalls. He shatters any illusions about a toxic underbelly of much of homeless culture. “Being homeless man, everybody’s connection is drugs. I don’t want to fuck up your program, but realism’s a bitch. Everybody does drugs down here. Whether it be speed, crack, heroin, weed. Its drugs.” Despite talking about the release from the pain of his harsh reality the drugs bring, Gram acknowledges the despair they cause for himself and those around him. “I fuck people’s lives up. I’ve watched people die,” he narrates the raw reality of his existence. Still, there is a faint spark that keeps him going. “Sometimes I want to give up. I don’t want to wake up to look for my next drug, to look for my next high. It seems like everyday is progressively going to that. Life is a bitch. She’s a beautiful bitch though.” Still, the seesaw of admitted despair from drug abuse and defense of its benefits continued. “Wasn’t the tea party all about drugs. People addicted to tea,” he’s quick to point out. He continues, saying that heroin is no different than coffee in the human drive to attain its effect. “If coffee had laws and was illegal, you’d have just as many roadblocks in using it as heroin,” he explains. “It’s the routine.” When asked to look into the camera lens as if he was looking at someone he loves, he replies, “What’s love? I don’t know what that is anymore.” 

 

Prized Possession: Gram’s addictions provide him with ironic vicious solace amongst the cement. “I’ve been hooked on drugs for six or seven years. That would be my thing to hold. I’m stuck on it. I use heroin and speed. I got into this weird routine where I was doing speed to wake me up, heroin to go to sleep, DMT to kick the speed and heroin, and then molly powder to pleasantly come off of everything.” He explains why his addictions are his most valued possession. “Its my drugs. Its your addiction. That’s what cradles you. I’m not going to say my jacket because I’m cold everyday. Because I honestly wouldn’t care if I was cold or not as long as I had my drugs. Once my mind is cradled, then I can worry about my body. Its real.”